Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Randomize