Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize