oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
