I murdered the dance floor call the cops
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If I die, sorry about rent.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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