Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Sorry my hands just texted you
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
