Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
