This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
