He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
