a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
