I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
