We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
