If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
