Just cropdusted the office
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
