Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
