R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
