all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
