what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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