Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
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