our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
