yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
