Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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