woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
