whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Everything about him screamed your future.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
