It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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