I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
