We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i dont even know how to be here
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize