I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
