I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize