puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
