Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
