wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Text me some of your sweat
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