Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
