Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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