Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
