well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize