Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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