I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize