I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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