I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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