Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I need to stop coming to work sober
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
