I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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