The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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