why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize