So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
