I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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