Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
