there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
