my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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