i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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