this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
