The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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