Small penises have feelings too.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
