U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
