GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
