i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
