I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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