you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
