problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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