what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i would punch a child for taco bell
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
