I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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