They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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