we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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