Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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