so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
