Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Dick very happy bro
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
