I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
