If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So vagazzling was a success
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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