I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
