Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize