Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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