The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
