dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize